Hey now, I am so excited to share this poem with you by Stephe B and Erica Nicole of Houston VIP, performed in their semi-final bout in Denver at the National Poetry Slam!

If you are a poet who did a funny or form-breaking poem at the National Poetry Slam this year, please submit it to try to win the $500 H. O. Prize for Humorous and Original Slam Poetry! Check out the slightly-revised rule — you can send any recording of your poem, as long as you verify exactly when and where you competed with it at Nats. Not just performed: COMPETED. We need 20 submissions to choose a winner and release the $$$. Thanks!

In this really fun poem with some great zingers, Stephe B and Erica Nicole run down their list of superheroes in their “Marvel vs. DC in who can make me cream first fan fiction!”

In terms of structure, this poem is about 50 seconds of setup (girls aren’t supposed to like comics, girls are supposed to be demure and not want sex) and two glorious minutes of terribly nerdy, awfully explicit fan fic sex descriptions. With this list of Wolverine, Spiderman, Mystique, Nightcrawler, Deadpool, Thor, Loki, Stan Lee (and possibly Iron Man?), there is something for almost everyone.

They never say it explicitly… but it looks like Marvel won this contest by a long shot? Thanks, Marvel!

I’ll tell you, there is a lot to like here, but my favorite stuff was in the wordplay and the enthusiastic choreography.

  • — This poem was obviously ON at “if I’m not shooting webs out of my beatbox.” Anytime anything sex-related is shooting out over the audience, you are in serious Gallagher territory, and this is well-earned by the end.Slow GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

    Comedian GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

  • — I really thought some of the lines were so perfectly set. Mystique can take any shape, so “she can be my ex girl, my next girl, and still be the girl I’m sexing right now” is so on point. And the Thor / Loki “brother’s keeper” stanza: “You know I keep it low-key.” Low-key. Loki. I mean, come ON. Look at all that heavy lifting there. Everyone WISHES they could hit that many levels.
  • — Usually, I think I would say that I wish poems could come in straight funny, hard, with no “this is what we’re not supposed to be” setup. However, in this case, with all the fluids and stuff… I’ve decided that Gallagher can’t smash the watermelon without setting out the watermelon, letting you realize there is a watermelon, and walking around a bit with his big hammer so you can get ready. To feel the watermelon.

In conclusion, Super Sex is a super-fun, accomplished piece that I am sure made the audience really happy and gave the semifinals bout a mutant-sized punch of life and vigor. Thank you for submitting and sharing this with us!

Last thought: If these poets ever feature together, a Super Sex Head-to-Head Deathmatch is needed in this world. #soblessed

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H. O. Tanager
H. O. Tanager is the author of Autograph Penis: An Adventure Through Competitive Performance Art and Haiku Princess: Poems in Ascending Order of Profanity. You can also find beautiful Haiku Princess prints and more at RedBubble.
H. O. Tanager is the author of Autograph Penis: An Adventure Through Competitive Performance Art and Haiku Princess: Poems in Ascending Order of Profanity. You can also find beautiful Haiku Princess prints and more at RedBubble.